Name: Matt Aked
Name: Dan de Jesus
Name: Jamie Elliott
Name: Ludo Hunter-Tilney
Name: Chris Humphries
Profile: RHB, Right-arm mystery
Tweet dis: Blessed with a cherubic countenance, the power of arrest and a deceitful lob ball, the Chancellor is a man you underestimate at your peril.
Pen portrait: Bearing a disarming resemblance to George Osborne, our own Chancellor of the Exchequer (DS Humphries to you, sonny Jim) has found his personal approval ratings move in exact opposition those of the Baronet at No 11 since his 2013 GCC debut. Setting the tone for future appearances, Chris bought two wickets against the Lions of Hampstead Heath (3-0-31-2) with a style of lob-bowling not seen since the good doctor set the willow aside. He was an enthusiastic tourist to Talgarth, but not even a detective of Chris’s calibre could solve the mystery of the poltergeist pisser (where’s the Holmes to his Lestrade?). His two wickets in a mesmeric over against Ewyas Harold were textbook. Chumpy's nearest and dearest were surprised he won catch of the year for his slipper against Palm Tree; if they’d seen it, they have been relieved. TL
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Matt Aked (life)
Jamie Elliot (life)
Rob Navratil (life)
Hugo Nisbet (life)
David Woodhouse (life)
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and may involve some poetic licence. GCC cannot be held liable for any misrepresentation in these articles.