Gardeners Cricket Club
Gardeners Cricket Club

GCC V Salix Match Report

If you read the scorecard and imagined the performance that accompanied this emphatic win, you’d probably imagine one of rage, snarl and narrow-eyed intensity.


You’d be wrong.


Salix never looked like setting a taxing target.  And, we didn’t tax ourselves in restricting them to 129 in 35 overs.  It all came as easy, lazy and messy as Sunday morning.


Steve Seaton made a difficult catch look like a cinch to give Rob the first wicket.  Cunners exploited a two-paced wicket (slow and slower) to bowl their most threatening bat.  Lebon, testament to his namesakes assertion that ‘wild boys never lose it’, never looked like not taking a wicket and had to be taken off lest the game be over before it started.  The only bowler that was out of sorts was the Chancellor.  Maybe it was the wind, maybe the fact that he doesn’t resemble the new Chancellor, maybe the weight of expectation.  Whatevs.  Instead, he added to the air of insouciance by prowling around the outfield like ‘The Boss of the Universe’ and, fittingly, refusing to remove his shades to bowl.


Tommy Leahy, the Metronome and new boy, rudeboy Sam Murillo could just about be arsed to mop up the tail.  By this time, fielders were all but horizontal in the field and muttering shit like ‘jeez I’d rather stab needles into my old fellow than watch these fuckers bat.’


The two moments which really quickened the pulse in the field were Ed’s introduction of a ‘look, no-hands’ long-barrier and the ex-Chancellor’s attempted run-out which, with overthrows, trebled their run-rate and wouldn’t have hit a 17th set of stumps. 


Tea was taken – wot no battenburg – overlooking the QPR training pitch.


The ‘Boss of the Universe’ and Ferris put in a flawless umpiring display as Saj and Steve Seaton batted quite beautifully and without bother as we pootled to victory.








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Oliver Cunningham (life)

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Caveat lector

All our match reports and player profiles are written by third parties,

and may involve some poetic licence. GCC cannot be held liable for any misrepresentation in these articles.

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