Gardeners Cricket Club
Gardeners Cricket Club

2013 Fines

THE MARK WAUGH FASHION AWARD FOR SARTORIAL DARING - for risking another fine & bringing his multi-coloured board shorts out again at the inter-club game - FATTY NAKED


THE CHUCK NORRIS MISSING IN ACTION AWARD - for retiring from the game and then coming back to sledge us out of the inter-club game from behind the stumps. Bravo sir! - JOHN LLOYD


THE GEOFFREY BOYCOTT "THAT'S NOT CRICKET" AWARD - for leaving the Palm Tree game early to go to a party, and we ended up losing by 16 runs. No rebuttal allowed! - HUGGIE NISBETT


THE DAVID LLOYD AWARD FOR COMEDY GENIUS ON TOUR: for telling all new batsmen on tour that they'd been there for "far too long" before they'd even faced a ball - ANTONI ROGOWSKI


THE BEST NEW NICKNAME AWARD - a three-way tie: Tom Leahy for CUMBERBATCH, Antoni Rogowski for VOODOO and Chris Humphries for CHUMPY


THE HUGO NISBETT AWARD FOR MOST IMPROVED TIMEKEEPING - for actually beating a few people to the ground on possibly one occasion - CHRISTIAN BALE (aka IM Richards)


THE JIMMY ANDERSON AWARD FOR BOWLING BRILLIANCE - for his superb hat-trick, which will no doubt be remembered for the rest of his life - HUGO NISBETT


THE JEREMY PAXMAN AWARD FOR BEST WRITE-UP OF THE SEASON - a no brainer really – the man with the 18th-century wit, LUDO HUNTER-TILNEY


THE KEVIN PIETERSEN AWARD FOR BRINGING THE GARDENERS INTO DISREPUTE - won for the second year running, for taking time out of the game (again) to have his photo taken with Courtney Walsh - RICHIE CLAYTON


THE MONTY PANESAR AWARD FOR INDOOR GARDENING - for using the bunkhouse bedroom floor as a toilet on consecutive nights in Talgarth - ED SPIRLING


THE GEORGE BEST AWARD FOR BIGGEST HANGOVER ON TOUR - for taking a detour to hooch up breakfast on the way to the ground, then missing our entire first innings slumped on a fortuitously placed outdoor couch at Kington, then missing tea and actually bowling! - ROB NAVRATIL


THE GOTHAM-METROPOLIS AXIS OF EVIL AWARD - for losing his Batman role to Ben Affleck, as pointed out by DDJ - CHRISTIAN BALE (aka Mike)


THE JONTY RHODES AWARD FOR ALL-ROUND ENTHUSIASM - for being the most enthusiastic Gardener all season. This includes pitch inspections between innings, and pre/mid-game net sessions with himself. By no means a fine! - PIERS TEAKLE


THE SEVE BALLESTEROS MEMORIAL AWARD - for having most summers off and not playing a single game (bar the inter-club) - WILLY SUTTON


THE OWEN HARGREAVES AWARD FOR MOST INJURY-PRONE SEASON - taken in absentia by yours truly - CUNNERS (new nickname HAMMERS?)


THE BILLY BOWDEN "SIXES" AWARD - for smashing more 6s and having more 6s smashed off his bowling than any other bowler - DAN DE JESUS


THE JACK RUSSELL BEST DROP OF THE SEASON AWARD - for that superb drop at the end of the Palm Tree game at deep square leg. It all happened in slow mo with both teams held in endless suspense. Only for it to fall way short - JIM WARBRICK


THE PRODIGAL SON AWARD FOR BEST COMEBACK OF THE SEASON - proof that form is temporary but class is permanent, welcome back Sir! - JON VINCENT




THE LIONEL MESSI AWARD FOR MESSI FOOTWORK - for kicking the ball for 4 at Highgate Woods off DDJ - JIM WARBRICK


THE LORD LUCAN AWARD - for going missing for half the season - excuse needed please! - MIKE RICHARDS


THE BOOM-BOOM AFRIDI AWARD - for biggest six of the season, for his monster off-drive at Highgate Woods - PIERS TEAKLE


THE RED BRIEFCASE AWARD - for claiming that the recession was over, pah! - THE CHANCELLOR


THE SHANE WARNE CHIRP OF THE YEAR AWARD - for shouting out to Tommy Leahy (with newly acquired nickname, Frank) while he was batting "FRANKIE, RELAX!!" - ANTONI ROGOWSKI


THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH AWARD FOR MOST INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT OF THE SEASON - for claiming he would "experiment with his sexuality for a piece of Battenberg" - commendation & fine in equal measure! – DAVE “PG” WOODHOUSE


THE SIMON KERRIGAN SORRY BOWLER AWARD - for the simple act of bowling a 10-ball over against Kington. Double figures!! - RICHIE CLAYTON


THE JANET STREET-PORTER AWARD FOR BAD JOURNALISM - for a team full of journalists and not getting a write-up for the Wimbledon Corinthians game. Club Secretary might have to take this one for the team - RICHIE CLAYDERS


THE CBEEBIES AWARD FOR YOUTH OUTREACH - for allowing his children to run around unsupervised behind the side screen at Gallery Fields. Take another one for a less than stellar season with the bat! - JAMIE ELLIOTT


THE DICK TURPIN HANGTIME AWARD - for bowling out his victim by landing the ball in a vertical fashion on the bails, serious hang time there! - CHRIS HUMPHRIES

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  2018 Members

Matt Aked (life)

Oliver Cunningham

Jamie Elliot (life)

Chris Humphries

Rob Navratil (life)

Hugo Nisbet (life)

Steven Seaton

Matt Wood

David Woodhouse (life)

Caveat lector

All our match reports and player profiles are written by third parties,

and may involve some poetic licence. GCC cannot be held liable for any misrepresentation in these articles.

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